Sunday, February 14, 2010
I'll keep you right by my side.
♥ 6:47 PM
hellooooooooooo! :)
I don't know what it is with some adults that has problems with supporting their little ones. all they do is push, push and push. no words of support, just insults and criticism. my family just busted my heart. no, they're never satisfied with anything. they expect more from us, and when we fail to please them, they go balistic on us. no, we don't blame them. maybe we deserved it. but no child deserves such criticism and insults even if they have lack of knowledge. before you go any further on pushing your child to the limit, could you please grab a mirror and take a look at yourself?
hey, you made us this way. maybe it's in our genes. those genes came from you guys. we've tried our best, we've worked our butts off yet you still want more. I really love you guys, but sometimes you just piss me off with your offensive words and I reeeeeally hate it when it happens. this girl is a human being, just like the rest of you. imagine you being in my shoes, how would you react? for a sensitive girl like me, I'd cry my heart out. well, I actually did. I always do, whenever I receive such nonsense from you people.
I'm sorry I can't be one heck of a perfect daughter you've always wanted. I'm sorry to all my uncles and aunties, especially to that certain uncle for maybe letting you down. cos I know how important and how sensitive you are when it comes to education. I'm still trying, yknow. I'm trying to make each and every one of you proud of this little girl.. this little girl who always fails to make you happy everytime you scan my result paper... I'm trying :)
I envy some of those families. they celebrate their childrens glories even over the littlest achievements. their mothers would give them a hug and pat their backs and tell them how proud they are. I want that.. :') oh well. I still love my mom and dad. my uncles and aunties. my ohana. :')
I don't know why they can't put their trust in me. if you guys don't believe in me, how can I believe in myself??? don't look down on me. please? I'm one heck of a dependant girl, aren't I? sigh. wish I wasn't born that way... wish I could be an independant girl, who cares less about what other people think of me, and put my head up high. but I can't. I've always needed those helping hands to help me walk my way to the successful road, those shoulders to lean on, all those things....
my point is. I am fragile, and easily broken. please... stop hurting me. cos I take almost everything ke hati. I don't "masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri" type of person. I never was.
maybe I'm just not good enough. I appreciate everything mama and babah have done for me. all those tuition fees, buying me all my needs and wants, spoiling me and letting me hang out with my friends and having to put up with me and my unpredictable mood conditions. it's just a teenage phase I'm still going through.. ma, bah, I'll make you proud. adik inda main-main ni :')
he's the only reason why I'm still standing strong. he's my true family, the only one who understands me too well, who never gets tired with my whining, who has always been there through thick and thin; my superman. I love you :')
&when will you take me away on a balloon?