Sunday, February 28, 2010
butterflies.
♥ 3:16 PM
yesterday was a nightmare. :( :(
it was my very first time walking around the mall all by myself. well, amal was there pulang but she had nawie by her side. so I just walked behind them cos I didn't want to disturb the lovely couple cos it was like, their first walk together outside of school! :P so yeah, all alone. some guys just kept on staring at me giving me this perky cheesy smile which by the way FREAKED THE HELL OUT OF ME! :(
I felt unprotected and unsafe :( :( I so don't want to go there all by myself again.
but I'm over it! cos today is a brand new day! :D
"princess, you have me to rely on." eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp! XD
I'm feeling super duper sick right now. this princess needs to fix her sleeping patterns back on track asap! :D
what's on your mind?
- I didn't know water could be so yummmmmy!
- you :)
- you.
- youu!
- new spects :(
- you.
- you.
- you.
- money oh money!
- you.
- you!
- you :)
- yesterday?
I'll be performing an act tomorrow and I am super duper excited yet nervous at the same time :D :S hope I won't stutter and run out of words- forgetting my lines, that is. wish me luck, loves. :)
I was lost, but then they found me. :) :') :'D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ohana :)
♥ 10:29 PM
I had one heck of an awesome Friday! ♥
Asyiqin, Amal, Hanif, Kasyfi, Afiq and Suroto made it awesomer! :D :D :D
started off with dikir, brunch, teasing and fun shit. continued with an engine running, went cruising to the beaches and paused at Muara beach. :D pictures and non stop laughing. :D :D ended with tears of joy and left with pictures of you and me. still waiting to get tagged. lalalalala~
random estranged dog: wooof! woooof!
kasyfi: macam apa. susu landir!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! what an ass. :p we had to go home before Maghrib since our moms couldn't stop sending us texts telling us to go home. haha, that sucked. :( having to wave each other goodbye, going to different directions. :( but I'll hope to see them again this Sunday since we always have a gathering thing on Sundays. :)
I love you guys to bits and pieces! ♥ ♥ ♥
awwwwwww I want a sleepover lagi! :( but most of us are too busy with projects and tuitions and shit :( ho crap. :( I can't avoid saying shit nowadays. virus dari Emmyra. :( either way, I have got to stop!
errrrrrrrrrr. don't wanna type too long :) later!
p.s.: I think it's broken. I mean it, literally.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
broken glass.
♥ 10:02 AM
why would I want to be with someone who is afraid of me when I turn into a monster? I need to feel protected and safe, even when I'm in my worst conditions. I need someone brave enough to tell me that everything is going to be okay when I blow up. someone like no one. :)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
get over yourself.
♥ 2:31 PM
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai. :D
I just got back from school and I am super duper extremely exhausted! we didn't really study today. the History papers were given back and I got 86 out of 100 :( sigh. oh well, it's better than my math result..... DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! :((((((
we had a lot of time to ourselves to practice our lines and stage directions. we even recorded a few clips on the play and some other things too. I really had fun goofing around with them in the class. they really made my day a whole lot better :D oh and, hope it goes on facebook :P hahahaha :D the other form fives went off to the audi cos there was an assembly giving academic awards and stuff. guess I won't get one for the common test since I flunked my math.... kdsfjlksyjgls;kgtrekjykjpofd,mhykthuf,dmss';!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've tried so hard wah, and still it wasn't good enough to even get a credit :(((((((
anyway. the five of us stayed in class saja since we had permission from Ms Pauline :) during Literature, we headed off to the audi to rehearse on the stage up til 2pm. didn't know drama could be so tiring yet fun at the same time...
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Cadbury chocolate!
♥ 2:48 PM
we practised our lines today :)
it was definitely uber awesome having them around to make me laugh even when I was feeling super down and sick. I loooove you eh! :D :D so much. :) after we left the hall, we went to the bus stand and saw police cars coming from the entrance and we were like, kenapa ada polis lagi aniiiiiii.
we were jobless so went to the foyer to see what was going on. turns out that there were three boys sitting at the back seats of one of the police's cars, giving us this apa liat-liat!-look. cigu said that dorang kana soal siasat. we asked what happened and he said dorang buat salah. and I was like, maybe this has something to do with the toilet and I WAS RIGHT :D
they vandalized the toilet. -_-" this is a lesson to learn to all of you out there :)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
tomorrow may be shaky.
♥ 3:13 PM
"can we be inlove again?" - Quinn Fabrayy.
maybe this is who I am. I can't put all my emotions inside just to take care of theirs cos they can't seem to take care of mine as well. :) I can't do this anymore.. I thought you understood. I told you once and I didn't have to say it again and again and again. sigh. think of me, could you please? don't be so frickin selfish.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
heaven.
♥ 8:39 PM
walked around the night market holding mama and babah's hands. and daaaaamn I felt like a little girl again. :D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Hey.
♥ 9:21 PM
I've been feeling blue lately. ever since that incident I had to go through on Sunday, my mind wasn't at ease up until now. sigh. wherever I go, whatever I do, deep inside, I felt like letting my tears escape from these eyes. yet I kept them inside cos you and me know that I'm as hard as a rock when I'm actually not. I'm a weak, vulnerable fifteen year old who is trying so hard to please everyone for the sake of making mama and babah to have a better "parents reputation" than them, cos I know they are. heck, they're waaaaay better than them. I love you, mama and babah. :')
I'll be sitting for History and Bahasa Melayu tomorrow. I'm confident with my History since I memorized chapter 6 sudah. which will come out in section B. tinggal 2&4 saja lagi, mcqs. I intended on reading 2&4 just now but entah, tears came out in a sudden minute. I don't know what I had in mind. it just.. came out and couldn't stop. sigh. :( ah well, I better not waste any more time now.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
should've tried harder.
♥ 3:35 PM
our first Common Test started today. well actually, it's going to be the only common test for the form fives to sit for the year. :O I just checked our timetable for the whole year and it turns out that we're going to have our Mid-Year Exam on May. which is only 2 1/2 months away! :( and the Qualifying Exam will be on August?!
since I'm taking June, I'll have a lot of exams to sit for. the June O'lev will be on the May 12th til June 3rd, which btw, betamu with my mid year. sighhhhhhh. so the mye papers will be just like O'level - containing form 4&5 topics. OH-MY-GOD!
new goal: finish revising my form 4 topics by April. :/ haiya. the math paper was not as easy as I thought it would be. the questions were so tricky! :( whereas English, composition rupanya. I thought it was a compre paper, but I was so wrong. thankfully I was prepared for it, since I don't have any problems in English. ;p English Literature was not a pain in the ass :) I memorized the essay I wrote last night but ended up writing a whole new different essay during the test; theme of reality and deception.
my eyes got teary when I was writing my composition. I chose number 3, "you did a mistake and someone is upset with you. describe how you made things right." - the first thing that came into my mind was O'level. mama and babah. afraid of disappointing them. sooooo I wrote about me failing my qualifying (NAUDZUBILLAH!) and that my parents were disappointed in me. everyone looked down on me and things started to change. in a bad way. I also wrote about my "little competition" I've had ever since I was little. I was determined to my aims, and changed to a book worm. results came out, and I got straight A's (AMIN!)
I got really emotional writing the paper, so I hope I'll get a good mark out of it, Amin. I just hope sir I.W. likes it as much as I did when writing the paper. :) I skipped History remedial class today... hehehe. someone's gonna nag me about this :P ah well. I just need a little rest. speaking of. I have tuition later~ :( and I'm the only girl in the class. my goodness -_-"
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I'll keep you right by my side.
♥ 6:47 PM
hellooooooooooo! :)
I don't know what it is with some adults that has problems with supporting their little ones. all they do is push, push and push. no words of support, just insults and criticism. my family just busted my heart. no, they're never satisfied with anything. they expect more from us, and when we fail to please them, they go balistic on us. no, we don't blame them. maybe we deserved it. but no child deserves such criticism and insults even if they have lack of knowledge. before you go any further on pushing your child to the limit, could you please grab a mirror and take a look at yourself?
hey, you made us this way. maybe it's in our genes. those genes came from you guys. we've tried our best, we've worked our butts off yet you still want more. I really love you guys, but sometimes you just piss me off with your offensive words and I reeeeeally hate it when it happens. this girl is a human being, just like the rest of you. imagine you being in my shoes, how would you react? for a sensitive girl like me, I'd cry my heart out. well, I actually did. I always do, whenever I receive such nonsense from you people.
I'm sorry I can't be one heck of a perfect daughter you've always wanted. I'm sorry to all my uncles and aunties, especially to that certain uncle for maybe letting you down. cos I know how important and how sensitive you are when it comes to education. I'm still trying, yknow. I'm trying to make each and every one of you proud of this little girl.. this little girl who always fails to make you happy everytime you scan my result paper... I'm trying :)
I envy some of those families. they celebrate their childrens glories even over the littlest achievements. their mothers would give them a hug and pat their backs and tell them how proud they are. I want that.. :') oh well. I still love my mom and dad. my uncles and aunties. my ohana. :')
I don't know why they can't put their trust in me. if you guys don't believe in me, how can I believe in myself??? don't look down on me. please? I'm one heck of a dependant girl, aren't I? sigh. wish I wasn't born that way... wish I could be an independant girl, who cares less about what other people think of me, and put my head up high. but I can't. I've always needed those helping hands to help me walk my way to the successful road, those shoulders to lean on, all those things....
my point is. I am fragile, and easily broken. please... stop hurting me. cos I take almost everything ke hati. I don't "masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri" type of person. I never was.
maybe I'm just not good enough. I appreciate everything mama and babah have done for me. all those tuition fees, buying me all my needs and wants, spoiling me and letting me hang out with my friends and having to put up with me and my unpredictable mood conditions. it's just a teenage phase I'm still going through.. ma, bah, I'll make you proud. adik inda main-main ni :')
he's the only reason why I'm still standing strong. he's my true family, the only one who understands me too well, who never gets tired with my whining, who has always been there through thick and thin; my superman. I love you :')
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, February 13, 2010
all I wanted was you.
♥ 2:22 PM
heeeellloooooo! :D
5A had a little party during recess. and the 5Bs' were invited :) hehe. thanks for the birthday invitation! great food was served. nuyun bought two buckets of cheesy wedges from Jollibee! hahaha. I love cheese!!! :D some of the 5B's stayed in the class pasal kan finish up decorating the class cos the teachers ada sudah yg round mencheck. so... err. I feel guilty for ditching them :/
but we're still not finished, so we're okay, kan? :) nect was combined science. I felt like my stomach was going to burst. seeeeeeeeriously felt like vomitting. :( but I survived. :) I didn't get to read the surah during IRK. instead, I was busy sticking their name stickers on my pencil case. lawa! :D I'll take a picture of it nanti.
CCA was sort of okay. we taught the juniors the girlguide's songs. she was being a stuck up bitch! throughout the whole two periods, ia saja kan bagi orders. "basarkan suara mu atu, nan! damit wah." "kaki kamu atu, antak!" "march dari kiri!!!!" "teacher, suruh yang senior pun masuk lah. biar dorang bepanas jua."
"LIKE. DAAAAAA~" - mama ;)
I'm reeeeally starting to hate you. stop bossing people around, apa pangkat mu kan?!
anywayyy. hahaha. I'll update later. my baby online :D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
H ---> O.
♥ 9:46 PM
Kerana terluka aty ini.. says:
i nver stoped loving u..But im stoped showing it to u.. :)
MMMMKAY! whatever. just shut your foul mouth -.-" I had the vaccine shot yesterday. it was okay, but the effects were sort of painful. my arm muscle macam, sakit lah. up until now :( iatah during school today, 2 of my friends ter-ampas my arm. arah tempat kana inject atu lagi tu :( but I'm still okay. hehe.
I was kinda cranky this morning cos I reeeeeeeeeally needed a day off from school. but mom insisted I go. so I was like, urggghhhh! but then she made it up to me. :') I love you mama.
I've been so so soooo cranky about this thing. ugh. kan mati ku menunggu. :) haha okay, I think that's all. malas ku lagi, keluar karang bad words :(
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
this is too good to be true.
♥ 5:50 PM
heeeeeeello! :)
recess was, uhm, fun? I guess you could say that. having 30 minutes of time to walk around the school with an old friend talking about how our lives have been was quite cool even though the sun was burning up on our skin. wheeeeeeeeeee. we'll do it again next time, okay? :)
IRK was creepy as always. :( we played handball during PE. I repeat, H-A-N-D-B-A-L-L! nightmare jua lah. and the heat was killing me! my family is getting a liiiittle bit annoying. asal Aniq menangis, dorang salahi aku. macammm. URGH. siapa jua inda sasak tu. kana fitnah atu wah. :) iatah, my resolution for the next couple of weeks; inda mau pigang Aniq. cuba tah kamu lagi memfitnah. dapat sudah dibawa berehat -.-"
yeeeeeeeeh. I lost my mood sudah. byebye.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Monday, February 8, 2010
I'll be alright in no time :)
♥ 3:13 PM
hello. :(
I was shocked to see Sherbini holding a bag pointing at me when I opened my classroom's door at the back during break. haha. yeay! chocolates, chocolates, and more chocolates! thank you for making my day sweet. as I think of it, I really needed that. to be spoiled with sweets. :)
Amal and I went down to the foyer cos I wanted to see the O'level results which were pasted diluar admin. the percentage dropped, more than half of the form fives failed which made a reeeally bad reputation to Mentiri. after recess was Bahasa Melayu. I came in late cos I went down to the canteen at 10am, kan bali water. masa masuk class, cigu Lela was talking about the results. a lot and I mean A LOT of the students didn't manage to get an O for the subject. which made me panic macam dskjfrsdklhgrsitjekngekjy. malay ku lagi teeeeeruk! :(
sigh. banci ku eh today. laskjrklreamtgedmgprejkglfdgmt;y!!!!! the maths test was okay. we had English Literature extra class just now. 12:45 til 1:30pm. emmy had to rush to the canteen to buy food since the teacher warned us not to be late for class cos she really wants to go home to her family. blablablablabla! I know she has a family, other teachers have one too tapi inda jua berijap sampai cematu. it's as if you're not committed to teaching -_-" and it's my frickin O'level year. SIGHHHHHHHHH! tidak ku mengerti semua ini.....
the Quran class is cancelled for tomorrow. so I'm guessing we have math class in the afternoon.
I need some cheering up... you're out with your friends so. malas wah kan kacau atu... agatah sana. go celebrate, I'll be back as soon as I'm okay :)
Juliana came to school today. I miss you :') we had a chance to talk during history masa ia tunggu diluar class nya cos ada orang pakai their class, so yeah. I'm glad she's doing alright now. she looks great as always :)
Common Test 1 is next week, held for three days. so, yeah. wish me luck okay? that's all for now. I have to babysit for my sister since she's out to buy some more pampers for the baby.
by the way, .......
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I want your love.
♥ 8:19 PM
hellooooooooooooooooo! :D
today was awesome! :)
I miss you now. "LOVE is greatest feeling.
LOVE is what i feel for you, each and every day.
LOVE is like a smile,
LOVE is like a song.
LOVE is great emotion that keeps us going strong.
I LOVE YOU with whole of my heart, my body and my soul.
I LOVE the way i keep loving you, like a
LOVE cant control.
So remember
when your eyes meet mine, i've poured my entire soul to you, right from the very start. Make my hand this way we shall go, i'll take you to
a place of joy, where you will find
true LOVE and that is ME! If you let go, go on your own but mistakes you will make,
for many other ways there are, which you are sure to take.
When you feel that you are lost, all you have to do is pray, and i'll be there once again to help your way.
I did pray and just as i said, i shine your light from above, that showed you the way down the golden path, that led me to your
LOVE. And these TEN words that i always pray to Allah that is
"FOREVER AND ALWAYS, I WILL LOVE YOU NURUL ASYIQIN DULAMIN" Your
LOVE is the answer of my prayers, when i'm with you my fears go away, you make me feel
so real and needed. How could i ever get rid of you?
Why would i ever get rid of somebody so precious to me?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH but no words could ever describe my
LOVE for you.
I thank Allah for making you and letting me have the most precious woman in the world.
I'm so lucky to have you.
Never will i feel alone when i have you with me by my side.
FOREVER AND EVER, you will always be in my heart."
reading this note you gave me never fails to make me burst in tears no matter how many times I've read it. I love you :')
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
an evening update :)
♥ 9:15 PM
soooo. after I took my shower, I went downstairs and saw mom in the living room making popias while watching the TV. so I sat in front of her cos I know she wanted to say something to me. and I was right :)
"baik tah start belajar, jangan lagi kan main-main. mama harapkan kau saja ni. kalau dapat tah dapat kan tia tujuh-tujuh atu. kau mengambil tujuh saja ni, nada yang dapat menolong. kalau dapat, less chatting..."hehehe. I just sat there, angguk angguk. inda geleng-geleng. ;p I went back up to do some undone homeworks I left a few days ago. kali datang tia kaka, asking me to jaga
Aniq. and I was like, ehhh! laki atu kan di apa. -_-" dalam hati pulang saja tu. hehehe. :D so she went downstairs arah mama and babah. yet dad was too busy with I don't know, and mama was busy with her popia so kaka had to jaga him lah. haha.
I heard
Aniq mengusut dari bawah, so yeah.
uncu inda sampai hati bah :( so I went down with my homeworks, and as expected, they said,
"ni nah bungsu datang sudah. bungsu jaga~" mmmhhhm. yeah yeah. sigh. sometimes I feel like I have no time for myself. yknow what I mean? macam. no time for me to do homeworks and stuff. :( but it's okay, for the sake of my nephew. :')
so I picked him up and bawa jalan jalan. kali I got tired ;p so qien ampai saja and alhamdulilah, teranah and diam jua lah. as I was doing my homework,
babah sat next to him and read him some of the surahs. surprisingly, Aniq macam ada cakap something wah. like, "oohh" masa babah bacakan ia the surahs. and his eyes arah the buku the whole time masa babah baca :) aww~~~ :D
I wonder what his first word will be. :D
by the way, I can't wait for the midnight call :)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
and everyone went "AAAAAAAHH!"
♥ 2:34 PM
helloooooooooooooooooooo! :) :)special greetings:congratulations to my beloved boyfriend Muhd Khairul Hafiz Yusof. for getting 7 O's! alhamdulilah. :D I'm so proud of you, love.
and to my dearest cousin, Khairunnisa Amalina Hj Sirat. for also getting 7 O's. no one can blame you for not getting an O for the A.Math, payah waaaa. ;p
aaaand to my close friend, Sharull Amin Morshidi. also got 7 O's. which is something to be proud of. lots of people failed, so be glad you're not one of them. cheer up! :)
and congratulations to Sherbini, my senior in school for getting 8 O's. shiz, handal. no C's lagi tu. salute eh.
enough pasal O'level 2009. stress ku, haha. nadawah. I just don't wanna feel
the pressure of pleasing everyone and beating everyone's results. mau pulang, but I don't wanna be under pressure in the middle of February! I still have a long way to go. I just hope I can be as happy as they are as I find out what I'll get for O'level masa keluar nanti.
hahaha, semangat. alum lagi Common Test 1, sudah tia. ;p tapi okay jua, ada azam atu. hee :D to dot dot dot yang fail,
hey, it's not the end of the world. :) some of the teachers in our school had to resit for O'level waaa, so, yeah. take them as an example. they're still successful. and you can be too if you don't give up just yet. :)bah eh. beceramah jua lah. ;p
CCA was uber awesome!
I love my juniors. tapi ada jua lah some of them a little bit not well behaved. ada yang kurang ajar sikit, pandai sudah kan meyelurukan orang. hmm. :) but naah, my girls in
Bunga Teratai are super cute and well behaved. haha. I chose
Soleha to be my assistant since she raised her hand up first. so I have three girls under my group;
Farah,
Soleha and
Hafizah. yeayy!
I think that's all for now. karang tah lagi update. later!
by the way, a deal is a deal. I'm staying :)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, February 5, 2010
cos I need a man, not a boy.
♥ 12:42 PM
heeeeeeeeello! :)I'm currently listening to
the chippettes, which is so not me?! hahaha. I downloaded their songs for
Adee Adjmal since he begged me to. kesian jua kan, so qien downloadkan lah saja. I saved it in one of my pendrives and gave it to him. the next day, he gave it back and said that ia ada simpan lagu jua for me to listen to. here are the list of the songs:
- asmaul husna
- ayat kursi
- azan
- doa pagi, hijjaz
- selawat syifa
- solatullah salamullah
- bu di bu ai, Aaron Yan
- in the end I'll miss you, Blink 182
- the moon, Edward Cullen
- soy bomb, Honest Bob
- body language, Jesse McCartney
- cinta, Mulan Jameela
- aishiteru, Nugen
- all or nothing, O Town
- rela, Stacy
- standing on, Mariah Carey
- on and on, Utada Hikaru
- vadrum Mario BROS
- ticket to ride, Warkop DKI
- when you tell me that you love me, Westlife
YOU JUDGE :Panyways.
mom just came home from work and asked me how the tuition is going. I told her the teachers are students from the university and she was like, aduhh. :/ cos mom does not like teachers that are not really qualified to be teachers yet. geddit? macam, they're not really teachers so she thinks that they're less experienced and alum berapa pandai mengajar. I can't say I agree nor can I say I don't agree. 50-50 lah. the maths teacher is sort of, um, entah. but she's nice :)
oh yeah. I had maths in the morning tadi. the teacher came in 30 minutes late, so our class was extended til 11am, which made my sister pissed cos she had to wait in the car for 3o minutes doing nothing. sorry ka :( we did exercises on graphs and stuff. 'twas okay :)
by the way, I'm waiting for you to come home :)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
this could be the last.
♥ 10:13 PM
hello! :) I deleted my latest blog. It had memories I did not want to keep and cherish for the rest of my life. say
hello to my new and maybe my last blog of my whole entire life,
"Just keep on smiling" :D
I went to tuition tadi. a new environment, and new friends. well not really. since my two mates are actually my mates! haha apakan. I've known them dari form 1 sudah. so yeah, there were only 3 of us. yet the class was still bising. siuk lah pokoknya. I'm glad I registered there :D the c.s teacher is pretty awesome (much better than
MV, fosho!) :D
what reeeeeally made my day was your phone call, love. thaaaank you for calling just to hear how my first day of tuition went. :') you knew I got cranky cos of your internet connection, so you decided to just.. dial up my number. :D wheeeeeeeeeee.
I love you.I think this is enough for my first post. :)
by the way, I'm loving you more and more now!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?